More Things Underage Drinkers Didn't Do

In the past, we would chronicle countless examples of drinkers OVER 21 behaving badly, as "Things Underage Drinkers Didn't Do".  But we have clearly been slacking lately.  Time to do it again:

In just the past few weeks or so in America:

An underage drinker did NOT get so incredibly wasted that she crashed her car into multiple barricades and then abandoned her six month old twin babies.  (Let me guess, she "misplaced" them.)

An underage drinker did NOT get another unrelated DUI just a few short months after a drunken (and cowardly) hit-and-run crash.

An underage drinker did NOT drunkenly crash her car into a utility pole and kill her 17 year old passenger despite being largely unscathed herself.

An underage drinker did NOT drunkenly crash his truck into and kill a beloved music teacher who just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.

An underage drinker did NOT drunkenly run over and kill an innocent 13 year old girl walking down the grass shoulder of the street, and then speed away and casually keep on driving to Taco Bell as if nothing had happened.  (Another cowardly hit-and-run.)

An underage drinker did NOT pound five shots of tequila in a row at a Las Vegas casino, get behind the wheel, and then drunkenly crash into an innocent family's car, tragically killing the father and seriously maiming his 3 year old son.  (Also a hit-and-run.)

An underage drinker did NOT have the chutzpah to drive himself to court drunk (!) to fight charges for his third DUI.  Literally the definition of chutzpah!

Nor did an underage drinker have the chutzpah to drunkenly drive his SUV to the car dealership with a missing tire, obvious damage, and smoke to try to SELL the very same vehicle that he had just drunkenly crashed into the median several times after downing four Four Loko cans (aka "blackout in a can") and chasing that with a can of White Claw.  His baseball star father must be so proud of him! NOT.

The recent epidemic of unruly airplane passengers, most of whom are over 21, has been greatly fueled by alcohol.  (Fortunately it seems to be declining now, since nearly two-thirds of the misbehavior was linked to the federal in-flight mask mandate that is no longer in effect now, and also thanks to the new FAA zero tolerance policy for misbehavior while flying.)

Alcohol-related deaths spiked during the pandemic, mainly among people OVER 21.  America was already drowning in the bottom of a bottle, and the pandemic and lockdowns were like gasoline on the fire.

And finally, it was just recently revealed that Rudy Giuliani, 78, the questionable advisor to Trump who advised him to prematurely and falsely declare victory over Biden in the 2020 election, and thereby promulgating the Big Lie that incited the Capitol insurrection riot on January 6, 2021, was most likely drunk when he dispensed his questionable advice.

And that, my friends, is just the tip of the iceberg....

Dishonorable mentions outside the USA:

There was a 35 year old man in India who had meant to ritually sacrifice a goat, apparently got so wasted that he ended up inadvertently doing a HUMAN sacrifice of the person holding the goat.  Oops!

UPDATE:  But wait, there's more!

An underage drinker did NOT get in such a rage from being "mad at his girl" that he broke into the Dallas Museum of Art and wantonly destroyed $5 million worth of ancient art.  Just because, grrrr, he was pissed off! (No alcohol was mentioned in this case, but come on--when what the last time you heard of anyone of any age doing something like this sober?)

There's Nothing Progressive About Raising Gun Age To 21

With the latest mass shooting, of an elementary school no less, having a barely 18 year old perpetrator who purchased his AR-15 style semiautomatic rifle legally, there is now a renewed push from "progressives" to raise the age for purchasing at least some types of long guns from 18 to 21.  But there is really nothing progressive about doing so at all.

As long as the age of majority is 18, there is really no legitimate reason to selectively infringe upon the Second Amendment rights of 18-20 year olds.  Period.  It is both over-inclusive (most 18-20 year olds are not criminals, let alone murderers) and under-inclusive (the lion's share of mass shootings are committed by people over 21).  If anything, gender is a far bigger predictor of mass shootings than age, with men committing 96-99% of them, yet no one is calling for disarming all men.  And recently, a California law setting an age limit of 21 for semiautomatic rifles was struck down as unconstitutional.  But now Congress is trying to pass a federal law raising the age for at least some types of long guns to 21 (it is already 21 to purchase handguns under federal law).

It is indeed very important to keep guns from falling into the wrong hands, no argument there.  But there are far better (albeit imperfect) ways to do this:

• Require a license or permit to purchase handguns and some or all types of rifles going forward, regardless of age
• Require a psych evaluation before purchasing guns going forward, regardless of age
• Universal background checks
• Safe storage laws
• Red flag laws (truly a no-brainer)
• Waiting periods to buy guns
• "Treat bullets like Sudafed"
• Tax bullets (like Chris Rock recommended)
• Ban high-capacity magazines
• Reinstate the assault weapons ban that prevailed from 1994-2004

None of these commonsense measures actually violate the Second Amendment as written (the best part is where it says "well-regulated"), nor do they discriminate by age against young adults either.

Oh, and speaking of red flags, apparently the utterly deranged and disturbed mass murderer of Uvalde had so many red flags (including egregious ones like animal abuse, death threats, and rape threats) that he proudly waved them in front of everyone's face like a matador's cape in front of a bull.  And yet, no one did anything about it, for whatever reason, and he still got his AR-15 style rifle and lots of ammo very easily regardless.  Really makes you wonder!