In the past, we would chronicle and discuss countless examples of drinkers OVER 21 behaving badly, as "Things Underage Drinkers Didn't Do". Time to do it again:
In the past few weeks or so in America:
An underage drinker did NOT so desperately want an encore of New Year's Eve the following day that she got drunk, drove, and flipped her car, wrapping it around a telephone pole, splitting it in half, on New Year's Day. And then had the chutzpah to yell at hospital staff who treated her injuries afterwards!
An underage drinker did NOT get so wasted that she rear-ended another driver, killing him, and then kept obliviously driving and sideswiping other vehicles. She was three times over the legal BAC limit.
An underage drinker did NOT cause Florida's very first fatal drunk driving crash of 2023.
An underage drinker did NOT drive obviously drunk, lead police on a high-speed chase, and then have the chutzpah to proceed to fight with the officer after being pulled over. Being a football star does NOT make one immune from consequences!
An underage drinker did NOT get himself an aggravated DUI plus a bunch of other charges as well for his egregiously reckless drunk driving escapades and even trying to flee, all while on a suspended, revoked, expired, or non-existent license.
An underage drinker did NOT drunkenly crash into another vehicle after blatantly driving the wrong direction on the highway. But at least he was wearing a mask in his mugshot, albeit incorrectly, right?
An underage drinker did NOT drunkenly crash into and injure three people while double the legal BAC limit and on a suspended license.
And underage drinker did NOT drunkenly crash and injure himself and his three passengers, two of which were not yet legally old enough to drink.
An underage drinker did NOT get so extremely drunk that he passed out in Penn Station, and then had the chutzpah to assault the officers who roused him.
An underage drinker did NOT drunkenly pull out his gun and start shooting during an argument when a bystander made him pull over because he appeared to be driving drunk. Guns and alcohol do NOT mix either!
An underage drinker did NOT drive drunk with his 2 year old daughter in his car, then assaulted a woman when she asked him to pull over so she could take the wheel.
An underage drinker did NOT drive nearly twice the legal BAC limit, with her young child in the car.
An underage drinker did NOT drunkenly hit his wife with a Christmas tree (!) after she asked him to help make dinner. Yes, you read that correctly.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is just the tip of the iceberg....